How to differentiate between true love and true lust in friendship, courting and marriage

1Co 13:4-8 KJV
(4) Charity
suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth
not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
(5) Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
(6) Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the
(7) Beareth all things, believeth all things,
hopeth all things, endureth all things.
(8) Charity never faileth…
From the above verses, we can differentiate
what true love really is and what it is not. Here
we go.
1. Love suffers long and is kind. It is not
fickle, instant or microwaved emotions. It
doesn’t easily give up. It is patient and kind. Lust
looks for money, sex or some other needs and if
it doesn’t find, it walks away. True love considers
the needs of the other person before its own.
2. True love is not envious or jealous. True
love is not selfishly concerned about getting,
true love gives. True love does not put pressure
on the other person because of comparison traps
with some other people.
3. True love is not proud, boastful or
vainglorius. True love is not puffed up. Like we
say humorously in Nigeria, true love does not
turn to puff-puff neither does it pad itself with
shoulder pads. True love is humble, apologises
when wrong and is quick to say sorry. Lust on the
other hand will walk away from a relationship,
courtship or marriage because of pride – too big
to say sorry and apologise for what is obviously
wrong. Lust has over-inflated ego and will never
say sorry, unless when it wants sex or money, it
says sorry quickly, and then retrieves its ‘sorry’
after getting what it wants!
4. True love is not rude or unmannerly.
True love wants to respect and value the other
person because of love. True lust has no value
for the other person or for God. Lust just wants
to satisfy its cravings, often at the expense of
the other person’s beliefs and relationship with
God. True love values the things of God and is
ready to wait rather than compromise. Lust
wants it now and immediately, and refuses to
think about the consequences.
5. True love doesn’t revel when other
grovel like Message translation puts it.
True love does not rejoice at evil or when
something bad happens to the other person. True
love rejoices in the truth. True love does not lie.
Lust tells a lot of lies. Lust can lie until it is lying
in state! Lust will tell you what you like to hear in
other to get what it wants. Lust deceives. True
love will say the truth, no matter what. Lust
hides. Lust will smile while there is bile within.
Love will confront even when it is tough to do.
6. True love bears things and does not
escape in challenging times . True love bears
up under anything and everything that comes, is
ever ready to believe the best of every person,
its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances,
and it endures everything [without weakening].
That’s from Message translation.
7. True love lasts. It endures. Lust vapourizes
when it gets what it wants. Lust comes to get
while true love comes to give. True love
protects, lust exposes.
The question is as a single, are you in love or
lust? Both ways, you are sowing a seed into your
life and your future. And really, whatsoever a
man sows is what he will reap. You cannot plant
Guava seeds and expect to harvest Cashew! Sow
deliberately into your marriage and future; avoid
any form of lust so that you can enjoy the best
that God has for you.
I beseech you this day, with the strength of my
call and His grace, which He has put upon me
towards you, that you resolve to do it right,
God’s way. There is a God’s way, there is a
devil’s way and there is a man’s way. None is as blessed as the first option.
As married couples, relate with yourselves in true love. Go back and court and woo each other again. Reactivate the poems and the flowers and the gifts, and all you did then to win each other’s love. It is the same thing you do to rekindle your love. Forgive easily, believe the best of each
other and pray for one another. Refuse to cheat
on him or her, even on emotional level. Do not
tear one another apart, love truly, and be as one
I pray for you this day, may every storm in your
courtship or marriage cease in Jesus name. I put
a stop to every strategy of hell over your life. I
cancel and nullify every ordinance against your
destiny. I speak life and peace into your
courtship and marriage. God will surround you
with His mercy, he will honour your integrity and
forgive all your mistakes in Jesus name! I go on
my knees now, even as I type that God will come
through for you now in that challenge you are
facing, in Jesus name! Bless the name of the Lord!


About Bamigboye Olayemi

Whatever you do or wherever you find yourself, try to make a difference, try to live a purposeful life by helping others in your own little way because that is all we should all aspire to do in this chaotic world that we find ourselves...we are here for all of us.
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