Did I strike a chord?  Sure I did! For some Nigerians, they will not forget in a hurry what MMM did to them. Many lost their life-savings, hard-earned monies and even lives to the get-rich-quick scheme (Ponzi) introduced by the Russian brothers (Mavrodi brothers). Wikipedia defined Ponzi scheme as a fraudulent investment operation where the operator generates returns for older investors through revenue paid by new investors, rather than legitimate business activities or profit of financial trading. Such is the type of world that we live in, a world where deceit is the modus operandi.  Majority are caught up in this menace called “Pawn-zi scheme”.  The older generation are not exempt from this societal ills and the younger generation being a smart group are quick to learn a thing or two from their elders.

Also, you would recollect from your basic knowledge of chess, that pawns are expendable pieces (common/of least value) often sacrificed to achieve a certain end.  Just as we have it on a chessboard, we also have it in real life.  Anyone with the illusion of the white matter would tend to believe that he/she cannot fall victim but remember that even the strongest Samson and the wisest Solomon were not immune to this pandemic called pawn-zi scheme. People have evolved beyond Darwinism to being devilish and inhumane to other people’s plight or emotions.  They care less how you feel so far their selfish desires are met. People have become deceitful such that they can juggle three to four relationships all at once without each party suspecting. While growing up, we anticipated true love with much enthusiasm and expectation but fast forward to the 21st century it has gradually crept into oblivion and fast becoming a mirage.  The level of conspiracy and hypocrisy flying around makes one wonder if there can ever be a re-enactment of the old-time kind of true love.

Like I always say, the worst kind of injury that could ever befall anyone with the ability to make him/her a vegetable is the emotional injury (heartbreak).  All other injuries done outside the body can still be managed/contained, but the injury to the heart in some cases defy containment or therapy and in some extreme cases often lead to death of the victims. Try to understand me, some people make beautiful recoveries from life-altering heartbreaks, though it takes a lot of energy, time and a very resilient mentality, but how many people can afford such luxuries? How many possess such resilient genes in their DNA? Even when people make such recoveries, you cannot get back the same person who entered the relationship because he/she is forever changed. That is why you often hear various dirges such as “all men are scums” “I can never trust a woman” “women only want your money” or “guys only want to straf you”. (Straf is a Nigerian slang which means ‘to have sex with’).

Being the pawn in a relationship is a very precarious position to be in; you are just a means to an end. You are only wanted for a moment after which you’d be dispensed away with. To mention a few of ways by which you can identify if your relationship hasn’t been setup with your best interest at heart – look out for undefined relationships; you know those ones that aims to hide your closeness/attraction to the person of interest. If your partner sees you as a living ATM machine, mate you’ve just been pawned. If he/she always gives excuses of not seeing your missed calls or being too busy to return calls, you had better reappraised your stand. It is better you leave when the ovation is loudest; when your self-esteem has not been eroded off you otherwise you will be looking at a long bout with depression in the not-so-distant future, one I’m not so certain you can fight off easily.

My homily to you as you prepare to make resolutions for the New Year 2018 is this “every human, big or small, white or black deserves all the love, trust, care and respect you can give”. Do not treat people like trash; like they do not matter, it is grossly inhumane. Never betray the trust and confidence that people repose on you, it took a lot of effort, guts and ego-shedding on their parts before they could. Be the man/woman of your words, if you’re up for a relationship let them know and if you’re not still let them know (they deserve to know). Do not lead them on when you are not going to meet them halfway, don’t trifle with their emotions. Be modest and wear your integrity with you everywhere you go. The person that you treated badly today might be the person to pull you up the rung tomorrow (karma is such a bitch you say); so tread softly and carefully because the ground is slippery ahead.

So if you notice that your relationship is no longer a normal distribution curve as statisticians love to say, that might be a good chance for a reappraisal, weigh up the pros and the cons and come out with the best solution for you. Never allow your emotional involvement get in the way of your rational thinking because in there lies your freedom.

I hope you’re enjoying your boxing day? Oh! I am still expecting my box of gifts from you.

Wishing you a prosperous new year in advance…Thrive.

About Bamigboye Olayemi

Whatever you do or wherever you find yourself, try to make a difference, try to live a purposeful life by helping others in your own little way because that is all we should all aspire to do in this chaotic world that we find ourselves...we are here for all of us.
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